I'm sitting here.. and wondering why do I care?

This is the third time I've gotten about half of a page written down and scrapped it. I'm sitting here and I'm wondering, why do I care what you think about what I'm writing. I'm thinking, and finding myself even more perplexed at the thought that you care at all! I'm a quirky college student in a less than prestigious school, here in the coldest most misunderstood state I'm aware of and I'm wondering, why on earth do you care?

To you, I am no one, to you I am a random voice amid trillions pandering for your attention, and so far theres nothing that you should possibly think is worth the reading. Yet, here I am.

It occurs to me, that you don't read this for the mere sake of learning, or for the sake of any other academic prowess. You read this because you read this. There is no necessarily logical, reasonable, predictable fact that should endow any expectation for you to read this, but yet, you are. Right now, you have traversed 175 words. 175 words more than was on the internet before, 175 words more than you had read in your life, 175 more words than I've written in my life. I heard once; that "an artists job is to captivate you, for as long as we have asked for your attention." I can't say that I am much of an artist, least ways, not any more, but I have asked for your attention this day, and you have been generous. What then can I captivate you with?

What if I were to ask you a question?

What if I were to take the role for a moment, and stand in your room, and ask you a question as you yourself would ask of you?

Permit me.

This is my question to you; "What are you doing?"

You woke up today, you went to class, took a test, read a book, or maybe just bummed around facebook. You grabbed a meal, or saw some friends, but I really want to know, what are you doing? Have you done anything of value today? Have you done anything of worth? Have you even once in the last week done something that may actually matter enough as to be remembered be even one person as an action of value?

I haven't.

I suppose, after considering that, and finding perhaps, that you are just as lazy as I am, the next logical question must be "Are you okay with that?"

Are you?

I'm not.. I'm asking myself the same questions, and I'm annoyed, of furious, or disgusted, I can't tell.

Maybe if we took a little time to matter, we could possibly see the world get its act together. Maybe if we were a bit more intentional about what we say, and what we do, maybe then we could stop fighting with our girlfriends, or stop bickering with our boyfriends, about dramatically over-valued things we said two weeks ago, perhaps then we could get down to what really matters, have more than our friends who we eat lunch with, and play Smash with, have a deeper relationship with someone than how was class? or Where's my bong. Maybe if we cared a little more about making 24 hours worth the fact of living it, our petty squabbles would matter less, and maybe just maybe we actually get to know each other.

However, I caution you (and am reminding myself), getting to know someone does have one draw back, it leaves you open to getting hurt. Hearts deal in scars, either by the giving of them at at midnight, or the healing of them at dawn. A heart without scars knows not life itself, for all of life is a dialog, and a heart without scars has never spoken. If you fear the chance of scarring so much that you never attempt it, you will never know the joy of having a friend, and that, that is just far too terrible a thought to ponder.

All right, I'l stop bending you ears, but think about this.. if today your life ended, what will you be remembered for by those you leave behind, and is it worthy of memory, whether it be or not, what can you do tomorrow to make tomorrow worth it?